Self Care Isn't an Event. It's a Lifestyle.

I love self care, and I have for a long time. Candles, bubble baths, and massages have been my go-tos. Usually if I'm splurging for an actual spa session, it's because I'm celebrating something, maybe a birthday. Outside of that I'm frugal, so I go to a massage school instead, because those sessions are discounted. And right now, with things the way they are, even a massage school session isn't always in the budget. So I use equipment I already own at home that I bought for the same reasons. What matters is using the resources you actually have.

We often buy things meant to help us relax and then never use them. There are so many ways to build self care into daily life without spending extra money, most of us just don't realize it.

I'm working on a self care resource around the five senses, sound, sight, smell, touch, taste, different price points and different ways, one for each sense, for creating self care moments for yourself every day.

What I've realized is that I don't need an hour plus of travel time to go get a massage in order to experience a self care moment. It means being strategic and intentional about creating those moments myself.

When Jordan was younger and needed more supervision, on the days I could tell he was in a good place, I'd tell him, Mommy is feeling super tired right now, can you give me ten or fifteen minutes where we don't talk, no questions unless it's an emergency. I'd set an alarm so he knew when normal resumed. Every parent has to define what an emergency looks like for their own kid. Those ten or fifteen minutes, alone in my room or on the couch, were sometimes all I could get. That counts as real self care.

T'Cherise taught me how certain candles are actually manufactured and what materials are safe, which changed where I buy candles from. I've since started making my own candles, diffusers, bubble bath, and liquid soap, and I have the ingredients ready to try soap next. A lot of these products share the same or very similar base ingredients. It's easier to DIY than people realize.

I've been experimenting more with plants lately too. Watching them grow gives me a real sense of peace.

Self care looks different for everyone, but I believe everyone needs some form of it. Not everyone can afford a professional massage or even a student one, but almost everyone has something at home they can use for a facial, or a few minutes of real rest with soft music playing.

Something I'm learning during this period of unemployment: how much I actually enjoy silence. When Jordan is out of the house, I sometimes turn everything off entirely, no music, nothing. My blinds stay up around the clock, so I'm surrounded by sky, trees, and bushes. I'll clean, sit on the sofa, read the Word, or just watch the sky and feel grateful for the day. That's a beautiful way to start a day.

I'm considered the Atmosphere Architect, because I've learned how to build a space that's invigorating, peaceful, and supportive of who someone is and who they want to be. I've created a space in my bedroom that supports restful sleep, filled with plants, in soft cream and white tones, blinds always up, door closed, so it feels like a sanctuary every time I walk in. Something similar in my office, keeping the aesthetics in tones that work for me, whether it's the color scheme, including plants, candles, designs, and my gratitude jar. I keep it clean and organized.

Self care shows up differently for everyone. It could be journaling for some people. I like designing. I like cooking, not the cleanup after. Some people like crafting. I like making gratitude jars, because it doesn't feel like work to me, and gifting, which makes me feel good.

43% of adults practice self care at least once a week, and 49% say it directly reduces their stress. You're not the only one prioritizing this.

Self care isn't an event. It's a lifestyle, built by surrounding yourself with what genuinely brings you peace and joy. That's the whole practice.