How Do You Forgive Someone When You Don't Feel Like You Have It In You?

I read something this morning that changed how I think about forgiveness completely.

Ephesians 4:32 says to be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Today, listening to Scott Savage break down the reading in the Bible Recap, something clicked that never had before.

He talked about a time in his own life when someone betrayed him and he genuinely did not feel like he had the capacity to forgive them. What he came to understand is that we are not called to forgive based on how much forgiveness we personally have in us. We are called to forgive based on how much God has already forgiven us, and then pass that forward. His forgiveness was never meant to stop with us. It is a reservoir. We are supposed to keep giving it away.

As a Cancer, I am the type to hold onto hurt and bitterness longer than I should. That has always been true for me. I have really struggled in the past to let things go when people hurt me.

What has changed is not that I finally figured out some perfect formula. It is that I understand something now I did not understand before. Holding onto hurt only hurts me. The peace I have now, the peace that goes beyond understanding, does not leave room for me to keep replaying what someone did to me. I don't want anything in my spirit that would keep me from God, His love, and eternal life.

I am not saying this is easy. I am saying I have learned to forgive quicker and release faster, mostly because I keep turning my focus back to the joy and the peace I already have. When you spend your day saying thank you God, thank you for life, thank you for another chance, there just is not a lot of room left over for bitterness.

I think this is true for grace and mercy too, not just forgiveness. It is really about how we treat people in general. Scripture is not quiet on this. It talks again and again about how we treat the undervalued, the oppressed, the widows, the orphans. I think the grace and mercy God gives me every single day is something I am supposed to take and hand to the next person. Wanting God to keep extending that to me is part of what has made me quicker to extend it to others.

A devotional called Love in Action reinforced this same idea today, pointing to 1 John 4:11, 1 Peter 3:8, and Luke 6:36. All three talk about being sympathetic, compassionate, and humble with each other because of how God first loved us. The devotional made a point that stuck with me. If we fail to love people well, we also fail to show them God's love. Compassion is not a nice extra. It is one of the main ways we communicate who God is to somebody else.

If you want a picture of what this actually looks like in real life, read through the story of Jesus in Mark, Luke, Matthew, and John. That is the blueprint for compassion, kindness, and forgiveness.

Here is where I want to leave you. Think about the people in your life right now. Who could use some compassion from you? Who do you need to forgive? Who needs your encouragement or your kindness today? Then go do it. Show them. Let them see God through how you treat them, how you love them, how you encourage them, and how you make them believe they can do it too.

To me, that is the whole foundation of discipleship. It is the road to eternal life.

Peace, Love and Joy always. Infinite Faith and Favor | kharisco.com