Why I Had to Stop Making Every Decision Alone (Even Though I Could)

There’s a kind of loneliness that doesn’t announce itself. It just settles in somewhere between the grocery runs and the big decisions nobody else signs off on.

I am a single mom. I get to decide how Jordan is raised. I genuinely love that freedom. But something came up in my journal time this morning that I had to sit with: I have been making decisions alone. Literally and physically alone. Not just because it’s my right as his mom. But because somewhere along the way, doing it alone became my default.

And in the middle of writing that, I stopped and had to admit something. I was calling it strength. God was calling it unnecessary.

Today’s scripture was Proverbs 17:22 — A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength. NLT. And we had just come through one of the most emotionally exhausting decisions I’ve made in a while: figuring out where Jordan and I were going to move. The second-guessing alone nearly did me in. Not because the decision was impossible. Because I kept trying to carry it myself.

My BFF said something that cut right through: Ask for His strength. Ask for His guidance. Ask for your steps to be ordered. And then — this is the part I had been skipping — listen.

I have a terrible habit of calling on God like He’s a suggestion box. I drop my request in the slot and keep moving. I don’t wait. I don’t get quiet. I don’t make space for an answer. I’ve been treating prayer like a monologue when it was always meant to be a conversation.

And what I felt this morning, on the other side of that hard season? Light. Happy. At peace.

The move is done. I’m in transition, but I’m excited about what’s next. My mom is feeling better. I’ll see her this weekend. Jordan is good. And I realized that all that second-guessing I’d done? It didn’t help me make a better decision. It just took away my joy while I was in the middle of making it.

That’s what second-guessing does. It doesn’t protect you. It robs you of the moment you’re standing in.

Here’s what I’m taking from today: You can have the legal authority to make a decision by yourself and still not be meant to make it alone. God isn’t just available when things fall apart. He’s the one who orders your steps — which means He wants to be consulted before you take them. Not after everything goes sideways.

Call on Him. Hand over the decision. And then — this part matters — get quiet long enough to hear what He says back.

A cheerful heart is good medicine. And right now, I have it. Peace tastes different when you know what it cost you to get there.

Peace, Love and Joy always — Infinite Faith and Favor | InfiniteFaithandFavor.com