I Keep Making Decisions Without God and Then Going Back to Ask If It Is Okay

I have a habit. I make the decision, I do the thing, and then somewhere in the process I go quiet and realize I did not actually ask God about it. And then I do what I always do. I go back to him and say something like, "So... are you okay with this?"

He always works it out. Romans 8:28 is real and I have the receipts. But I keep thinking about what my road could have looked like if I had just gone to him first.

Proverbs 19:21 says the plans in a person's heart are many but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails. I have read that verse a hundred times. I have also made a hundred decisions without pausing to ask what his purpose was. Not because I do not believe he has one. Just because I moved fast.

Tara Leigh Cobble brought it up in The Bible Recap and it made me more reflective than I expected. She talked about how if we say we love God, spending time in his word matters. Because if someone told you they loved you but never took the time to know anything about you, that would not feel like love. It would feel like a title. And that got me thinking about how I approach this whole consulting him thing.

Because here is the honest tension I am still working through. Do I need to ask God about everything? Or just the big things?

If I ask him about everything it starts to feel mechanical. Like I am checking a box before every move. That is not a relationship, that is a procedure. But if I only bring him the heavy decisions, I am basically managing access. Only letting him in when I think I need him. And that is not a relationship either.

What I think it actually is, and I am still figuring this out in real time, is closer to what it looks like to know someone well enough that you naturally include them. You do not call your best friend for permission. You call her because you want her perspective before you move. It is not about procedure. It is about orientation.

And mine has been off.

Proverbs 19:3 says when a man's folly brings his way to ruin, his heart rages against the Lord. That is one sentence but it holds so much. When I make a move without God and it goes sideways, my first instinct has not always been to own it. Sometimes I have looked around for something else to blame. Something external. Something that was not me. Proverbs saw that coming a long time ago.

Then there is this: God describes himself as slow to anger. Tara pointed out that being slow to offend is part of real love. You cannot be in relationship with someone and have a hair trigger. God models this. Patience as character. Consistency as love. And we are supposed to be building that too.

What I am taking from today is not a new rule. It is more of a reorientation. Not consulting God on every small thing out of anxiety but bringing him into the room before I make the call. The way you would with someone you trust and want to honor.

I am working on it. And thankfully he is slow to anger with me while I do.

Peace, Love and Joy always
Tanya
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